a very loooooong chapter... :)
Oct. 5th, 2010 08:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angelshill i was supposed to post this last night but i fell asleep... so i'm posting this before i go to my review... :)
well, my parents came to visit over the weekend which promptly postponed me working on the last chapter of this fic and when i was actually able to work on it, i didn't realize that the chapter had stretched this long. i had to edit and re-edit this chapter but it was still very long... so i guess i should warn you, this is my longest chapter yet...
about the last chapter, i forgot to note that that bit with Jin complaining about having to take the middle seat was inspired by one of the scenes from my favorite American TV series... NCIS! :)
TITLE: Baby Steps
CHARACTERS: Arashi members, NewS members, Horikita Maki, Inoue Mao, Oguri Shun, Ikuta Toma, and a whole horde of other Johnny's and female Japanese actresses
PAIRING: Yamashita Tomohisa/Horikita Maki; Matsumoto Jun/Inoue Mao; others
RATINGS: PG
DISCLAIMER: The only thing i own in this story is the plot...
Prologue / Chapter1/ Chapter2/ Chapter3/ Chapter4/ Chapter5/ Chapter6/ Chapter7/ Chapter8/ Chapter8.5/ Chapter9/ Chapter10/ Chapter 11/ Chapter12/ Chapter13/ Chapter14/ Chapter15/ Chapter16
Chapter 17
“What are you doing here?” Maki exclaimed when she went out of her bedroom, searching for Meisa, and saw Yamapi instead of her best friend.
She had decided to freshen herself up a few minutes after Shun left her apartment. It turned out that he had found out, somehow, about the recent encounters she had with Yamapi which is why he suddenly popped in to check on her. She had to repeatedly assure him that she’s all right and that Yamapi had not done anything bad to her, which technically is true, before Shun had even shown a resemblance of his normal calm self.
He had made her promise though, before he left, that she’d tell them if and when Yamapi does something that would hurt her. Meisa, who was with her before Shun arrived, assured him that she’ll make sure they’ll know when that happens.
She almost felt surreal seeing the two opposing characters of the two, Meisa’s strong and fierce character and Shun’s usually calm and silent one, coming into a deal. She felt happy though, knowing that her friends are looking out for her. She did have to calm Meisa down and insist that what had happened that morning was her own choice because the moment she (Meisa) arrived in Tokyo and met up with her, she already wanted to face Yamapi. And everything points to the fact that the particular face-off Meisa had in mind wouldn’t the least bit civil.
This is the reason why she felt real shock seeing Yamapi in her living room without Meisa objecting. In fact, she couldn’t sense Meisa’s presence in her apartment at all.
“Where’s Mei-chan?” she asked.
“She left…” Yamapi answered, straightening up. “Can we talk?”
Maki felt herself swallow hard. She knew that the moment she closed her bedroom door that morning, they’re bound to have a talk to clear things out. She just never expected it to be before the day even ends. She’s not going to back down though. Because even if she doesn’t know what Yamapi had come up with, or what he had decided, or what he’s going to say, she’d rather hear it now than prolong her agony.
She held her head steady as she proceeded to sit on one of the single-seaters a safe distance away from him.
----------
Yamapi knew that Meisa had sized, assessed him, glared at him, and scrutinized him thoroughly before she actually allowed him to enter Maki’s apartment and when she did, it was really and obviously grudgingly. He was almost sure that Meisa wouldn’t leave him and Maki alone to talk but he was taken aback when Meisa, while still outside, closed the door after allowing him entry.
The moment he realized that he’s alone in Maki’s living room, he couldn’t help but get really nervous. It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks, what matters right now is what Maki does. And whatever it is that she’s thinking as she sat down away from him, he had no idea.
Seeing her looking at him, waiting for him to speak, Yamapi felt his tongue stuck in his throat. It was as if he couldn’t say anything and even if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t even know the right things to say. It took him considerable effort to find his voice and finally string words together.
“I never really thought I was going to get married… I thought I’d be like Matchy-san or Higashiyama-san who reached their 40’s and still not married…” he started croakily. When Maki simply continued looking at him without saying anything, he continued “But when I found out that you were pregnant, the only thing that came to my mind then was that I have to marry you…”
“Why?” Maki asked, her face hard as stone.
“Honestly?” Yamapi asked, sighing. “I don’t know… I figured it was my responsibility as the baby’s father… I couldn’t let you handle it alone when I knew that half the responsibility should be mine… It was the normal thing to do…”
Maki smiled humorlessly. “Nothing is normal about us… And nothing has ever been normal between us…” she said.
“I guess you’re right…” Yamapi agreed, knowing that it was true. For a while, he thought he saw a tear forming in Maki’s eye but when he looked closer, it was gone, and Maki was looking all serious again. That sight, however, made him lose track of what he was thinking. He looked down as he gathered his thoughts.
Maki might have interpreted his silence and his actions (and his words) for something else because she stood up and said
“I guess that’s it then… We’ve cleared things up and that’s just about it… Don’t worry, I meant it when I said I wouldn’t take our child away from you…”
Yamapi stood up immediately and stopped her before she could actually move away.
“No, that’s not it…” he said. “I said that was ‘then’…”
“That ‘then’ was barely two months ago…” Maki said, looking at him painfully. “Please don’t start pretending that something has drastically changed from then… I don’t want to end up hating you…”
Yamapi felt his heartbeat speeding up. It was now or never. He had to tell her what he really feels.
“Something has changed…” he said. “But it wasn’t anything drastic… I just realized the thing that I’ve been so stupid to not realize before…”
“And what would that be?”
“That I’ve always been in love with you…” Yamapi said truthfully.
He didn’t know what he was expecting or that he was actually expecting anything but it certainly wasn’t this.
Maki burst out laughing, sarcastically. Tears started escaping from her eyes.
“Wow! You really are good…” she said, the look of pain she felt already out for him to see. “You must have really had so much practice saying those words that it almost seemed that you were saying the truth!”
Yamapi wanted to reach out and dry those tears but he knew that he couldn’t, he shouldn’t. Not just yet.
“It is the truth!” he cried.
Maki snorted. “When you came here this morning, you weren’t even aware of what you felt… Yet here you are, telling me that for the past 10 hours, you had realized magically that you’re in love with me!”
“It was not magical…” Yamapi said, reaching out to grab Maki’s arm, making her look into his eyes. “I had always known that you were different, that you were special… It’s just that it took my friends to figuratively hit my head before I realized that it didn’t end there… That you are more than just special to me…”
“I’m bound to be… I’m the mother of your future child, remember?” Maki challenged, defiance written all over her eyes mixed in the pain that was already there. “Look, we’re no longer kids so it’s time we stop playing games…”
“I’m not playing… I’m not fooling around…” Yamapi said, his grip on Maki’s arm getting tighter as he pulled her towards him. “And I’m not going to stop until you believe that I’m telling the truth… I really do love you…”
He heard Maki gasp as the distance between them got closer and he saw in her eyes the glimpse of a little hope after he said those words.
“What makes you think I’m going to believe that?” she continued to counter even though it sounded like her defenses had been lowered just a tiny bit.
“Because you’re the only woman who made me look forward to being married…” Yamapi said, releasing her arm but still standing closely opposite her. “I told you earlier, I never thought of getting married, never planned for it, never hoped for it… But you, all of a sudden, made me really want to be one…”
“And no, it’s not because you got pregnant…” Yamapi added immediately before Maki could even contest. “Even before I found out about our child, I’ve been haunted by dreams of that night we made love. I questioned why, both the dreams and my intention that night, but I never really got the answer.”
“But I remembered feeling something when you arrived that night with Toma... I really wanted to hit Toma for some reason and that was a first… I remembered feeling angry when you sat between Shun and Jun and you looked really comfortable there… I remembered wanting to drag Kame away from his seat just because you were looking at him with a sweet smile on your face and you weren’t looking at me the same way…” he said, saying in words the realizations he had during his long walk after he left Matsujun.
“I like to think that I don’t get jealous easily. That I am rational. But when it’s about you it’s always different. I felt weird when I found out that you were going to work with Toma in HanaKimi because I wanted my turn with you to be the best and longest work experience you’d have with any Johnny ever… All of a sudden, when it’s about you, I’m possessive… I’ve always wanted you for myself and I didn’t even realize it…”
“I think what I’m trying to say is that I’ve always had these strong feelings when it’s about you… I just never thought too much of it… But I realize now that all those feelings and emotions were simply because I’ve always been in love with you…” he said. “I want to marry you, not because you are carrying my child but because I want to wake up each morning knowing that I’m waking up with you… I want to move forward each day with you, for you and because of you… I feel content just because I see you smiling and happy… I realize now that I really want to be with you, that the baby is just a wonderful bonus… I want to marry you because I really, truly, sincerely love you…”
After his quite long speech, he saw that Maki, who had been silent for the most part, was crying again. But it didn’t seem to be because of pain, she was sniffing while trying hard not to smile.
When he tried to extend his arm to reach for her face and she didn’t stop him, he took one step closer.
“Hey… Don’t cry…” he said, wiping away her tears. Maki broke into a smile as Yamapi caressed her cheeks. But still she did not say anything.
“You have to say something though…” he added jokingly even though his heart had just jumped to his throat. He knew what everyone else believed, he knew what he wanted to believe, but Maki saying it would be the most important of all.
Maki chuckled, her hand reaching up to hold the hand that was caressing her cheeks.
“I’ve always done what I was supposed to do, except for one thing… I was never supposed to fall in love with you…” she said, her eyes welling up again.
Yamapi felt his heart swell up; it felt like it would almost burst. He pulled Maki in for a hug, feeling warmth spread all over his body when Maki hugged him back. They stayed that way for a while, reveling on how great it is to literally and figuratively be in each other’s arms. He only broke the contact long enough for him to lean over and kiss her with all the passion he had.
----------
“I guess everything turned out okay…” Shun said, glancing over at Meisa as they watched Maki’s door from where the two of them flanked the elevator door.
He had followed Yamapi into Maki’s building minutes after Yamapi had declared he’s going to tell her he love her. He was also the one who had informed Meisa about Yamapi’s arrival and intent. The two of them had been standing on either side of the elevator door since Meisa allowed Yamapi to enter, both of them agreeing to wait and see, for about 30 minutes, what happens.
“It better be…” Meisa muttered as she turned around to enter the elevator, having pressed the down button already. “He wasted enough time already…”
“Well, they say it’s better late than never…” he smiled as he followed her in. “Where’re you heading to anyway?”
“Home, I guess…” Meisa answered, the elevator already going down. “I’d rather not get back in that room tonight…”
Shun chuckled, knowing what she meant. He felt the exact same thing when Matsujun and Mao got together the first time. He didn’t want to intrude on something that special.
“You could come with me if you like…” he invited. “Yuu’s got shooting until early morning tomorrow so I’m heading to Jun’s place. I heard Jin has already arrived, they’d be in Jun’s place by now… I’m sure they’d be happy to see you there…”
“And see Akanishi?” Meisa asked turning to him before adding with a really sweet smile “When hell freezes over.”
Shun chuckled, leaning on the wall. “What has that guy done for you to hate him anyway?”
Meisa turned to glance at him briefly.
She and Jin had actually been more of acquaintances rather than friends, but it wasn’t because of work or their connections. They actually share the same hobby, partying. She’d seen him around the places she usually frequents. They had acknowledged each other on occasion, joined groups on some, but he had crossed the line that one time he had her against the wall and was kissing her passionately.
She figured he realized the same time she did what they were doing and stopped before it would get any worse. She would have just let it slide, not to get angry since she knew she accepted and responded to his kisses as well. But in true Akanishi Jin fashion, it did get worse when he opened his mouth and said “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were some other girl…”
And right there and then, those words elevated him to her most disliked persons list because even if she didn’t have feelings for him, she still had her pride and how dare him tell her that. Everything he had done, from then on, had only cemented him on the top of that list.
“For now?” she asked Shun as the elevator door opened. “Coming back…”
Shun simply laughed as they both stepped out of the elevator.
----------
“You could stop chuckling you know…” Yamapi pouted as he got on the bed next to a chuckling Maki.
After agreeing that he stay the night over, both of them had decided to freshen up. Maki had produced for him her loosest set of clothes since he didn’t have spare clothes on his car which, unfortunately for him, included an extra large shirt with an extra large picture of Hello Kitty in front.
“You look funny wearing Hello Kitty…” Maki giggled under the blankets. “And here I thought you Johnny’s look good on everything…”
“Is that so?” Yamapi asked playfully, turning to pin her under him to the bed. “You still love me though, right?”
Maki giggled, meeting his eyes. “I have to, I’m pregnant with your child, remember?”
Yamapi chuckled, closing the distance between them until their faces were only millimeters apart. He didn’t cross that distance though as he looked into her eyes and absorbed everything that’s happening.
“I love you…” he said.
He felt rather than saw Maki smile. “I love you too…” she whispered back.
He felt some sort of electricity surge through his body hearing her say that. Closing the remaining distance between them, he kissed her long and deep, getting drunk with the taste of her lips, the feeling of his tongue playing with hers while his hand groped under her shirt, savoring the feel of her skin. He felt her hands reach to his neck and played with his hair and back, loving the feel of it. He allowed them that for a while before he broke off the kiss.
“It’s getting really late now…” he murmured against her lips. “I think you better get some sleep…”
He felt her smile and nod but he didn’t get off her right away. He savored the feel of her under him for a while before he turned on his back to allow her to straighten up.
“Goodnight Papa Pi…” she murmured to his ears as she snuggled to him.
Yamapi almost chuckled, hearing that name again but this time feeling comfortable with it.
“Good night Mama Maki…” he murmured back.
He heard Maki chuckle, but after a while, she didn’t say or do anything else but position her head better. When he looked down, he saw that she was already asleep.
He felt himself smiling. In any other circumstance, he wouldn’t have been able to stop earlier, but he knew it wasn’t right for her, not when she’s already over four months into her pregnancy. But it was not something he regretted. He felt great already, just having the opportunity to hold her the way he is holding her now. He couldn’t help but smile as she snuggled closer to him.
He loves her, her warmth, her presence, her being. Allowing his hand to touch her already increasing baby bump, he closed his eyes, sending a silent thank you to his unborn child. Because if he or she didn’t happen, he wouldn’t have realized how much he treasured his or her mother. He also sent a silent promise, that he’d take care of him or her and everyone of his future children and love them as much as he loves their mother.
----------
It was probably the most star-studded concert the whole of Johnny’s Jimusho had for the year Johnny talent’s-wise, next to the annual New Year Countdown Concert. It was certainly the most star-studded concert NewS had ever had. But none of the attending fans was aware of it because the only ones who were visible to them were just four of the Johnny idol attendees.
Toma, Kame, Jin (who had caused quite a cascading murmur upon his appearance), and Tackey were the ones in the VIP area of the Fukuoka Dome. But NewS had already been advised before the start of the concert that Johnny had arrived with both members of KinKi Kids and Higashiyama and three of the highest officials from Maki’s company, although Johnny was the only one they’ve seen. Apparently, the others had gone straight to the technical room upstairs to watch everything from a bird’s viewpoint. The six of NewS were also aware that Matsujun, along with Shun, is at the backstage.
But the presence of all those sempais wasn’t really the reason why NewS were so nervous before the concert started, although it certainly played a part. The bigger reason was because it was the concert where Yamapi would announce his upcoming marriage with Maki.
Right after the very last lines of Happy Birthday, the 6 members of NewS had gathered at the moving stage at the very center of Fukuoka Dome where they stood on one line (Koyama-Masuda-Ryo-Yamapi-Tegoshi-Shige) held each others hand and raised them before making a final bow before the last notes of the song was vented out. It was the signal that the MC was about to start, the point where every other Johnny present had decided to be on-guard.
Because other than telling the fans of his upcoming marriage, Yamapi had also decided that, if things turn out all right, he would also present Maki to the attending fans. Rumors about him and Maki’s relationship had already hit the mainstream media by then, although it is still to be known if any of their fans took the rumors seriously.
This was the real reason why Shun and Matsujun had opted to stay with the already-showing 5 and a half month pregnant Maki at the NewS greenroom for most of the first part of the concert (prior to the MC). The three of them had just moved near the concert stage when they sensed that the first half was almost over.
The Hanadan duo had an agreement with the four on the VIP seats and Ryo with regards to Yamapi’s plan to call Maki on-stage. Toma, Kame, Jin and Tackey will assess the fans’ reactions from where they are seated and Ryo will be the overall look-out from his vantage point on stage. Only if and only when all five had nodded their agreement will Matsujun and Shun allow Maki to go on-stage.
It was the only compromise they were able to come up with because despite the fact that Maki had agreed to Yamapi’s plans, all the girls, particularly Meisa, all of whom had not been able to clear their own schedules for the night to accompany Maki, thought that it would be dangerous for Maki, especially in her condition, a sentiment to which most of the guys secretly agreed to.
But when it was finally time for Yamapi’s announcement (they went from Koyama to Ryo after their usual greetings to the fans first before Yamapi actually made his announcement), things turned out a tad bit better than expected.
“As the other members had said, I do have an announcement to make tonight…” Yamapi started when it was finally his turn to speak, Ryo had actually expressed their gratitude as a group to the fans already, and Koyama had earlier told them that they’re going to have a big announcement. “In the past month or so, there had been numerous rumors that had been surrounding me, and later tonight, after this concert, I am going to meet with some of the members of the media to answer to those rumors…”
“But before that, we, that is me, these 5 wonderful members of NewS, and everyone else involved in all of this, had agreed that it is better if we tell you fans about if first...” he said before stopping and swallowing hard. “But before that I would just like to repeat what Ryo said that you guys have always been the best fans anyone could ever have, and I am thankful that I was able to become part of this group that you’ve loved and supported… As I take another big step into my life, I would also like to ask for your support…”
After those words, it was highly visible from where Matsujun and Shun were standing with Maki that some of the fans had started crying, as if aware of what looms ahead. Maki, who was holding onto each of their arms, drew them closer to one another, as if borrowing strength from the two older men. Tegoshi, Shige, and Masuda had stood a few steps behind Yamapi while Koyama and Ryo were a few steps away from Yamapi’s side.
“I, Yamashita Tomohisa, am in a relationship with the actress, Horikita Maki…” Yamapi started, eliciting more tears and some shrieks from the fans but also heard were scattered applause and cheers, the loudest coming from the VIP section, and a loud “Congratulations!” that sounded suspiciously like Tackey. “And we have decided, I truly and sincerely hope with your blessings, to get married…”
More tears, more shrieks and some shocked faces here and there. But there were also those who had started smiling, clapping, cheering and shouts of scattered “Congratulations!” could be heard. Even most of those fans who had tears in their eyes had put their hands together to clap, overwhelming the six people onstage.
Raising his hand that was holding the mic, Yamapi realized that he was actually trembling as tears started to form in his eyes too. Looking around at his group mates, he saw that they were all looking happy and overwhelmed with the fan’s reaction, Tegoshi and Masuda, their crybabies, actually were crying already. The shouts of “Congratulations!” had gotten louder and the sounds of the applause sounded clearer and steadier.
With a nod of encouragement from Ryo, Yamapi continued to address the fans again but all he was able to say was “Thank you! Thank you very much…”
With a slight chuckle, he felt Ryo’s hand thumping his back encouragingly as he nodded discreetly to where Matsujun, Shun and Maki, who was by then crying too not that the others would see, were standing.
Yamapi nodded.
“I’m really overwhelmed…” starting chuckle a bit but ended up sniffing. “I think none of us had ever expected this… Really, you guys are the best!”
More cheers, more clapping, more shouts and a bit of scattered of laughter were heard.
“Anoh… I actually have another announcement to make…” Yamapi continued which quieted the crowd considerably.
He had noticed Ryo going offstage towards where the three was watching. One of the cameramen saw him too and followed him there, there were several gasps and cheers from the audience when Ryo’s feed was placed on the big screen and it showed Maki with Matsujun and Shun. The feed showed Matsujun and Shun nodding, as they allowed Ryo to take Maki’s hand. The fans’ attention was directed to the big screen that they didn’t notice Yamapi going down the stage too to meet Ryo and Maki there. There were several gasps and “kya’s!” when he was suddenly seen on the feed, especially when he held Maki’s hand and hugged her while the other four left on stage started making noise and cheering too.
Back on stage and still holding Maki’s hand while tears were still falling from her eyes, he addressed the audience again.
“We would like to announce that early next year, we are expecting our first child…”
More tears, more cheers, more laughter and more “Congratulations!” were heard from the crowd but the moment Yamapi turned to Maki and saw her smile amidst those tears, Yamapi understood what Matsujun felt when he said that Mao’s smile would always make his heart jump even after hearing a thousand fans cheering for him.
In front of all the lights, the fans, his members, and friends, Yamapi pulled Maki for hug, hearing nothing else but the beating of his own heart and Maki whispering in his ears “Thank you…”
~~~~~
and yeah, apparently, there'd be an epilogue since there's a part i wanted to put but was still unable to fit in this chapter... the epilogue would be up later this day or tomorrow morning, depending on when i'd be able to polish it... :)
so yeah... comments and critics are greatly appreciated! :)
well, my parents came to visit over the weekend which promptly postponed me working on the last chapter of this fic and when i was actually able to work on it, i didn't realize that the chapter had stretched this long. i had to edit and re-edit this chapter but it was still very long... so i guess i should warn you, this is my longest chapter yet...
about the last chapter, i forgot to note that that bit with Jin complaining about having to take the middle seat was inspired by one of the scenes from my favorite American TV series... NCIS! :)
TITLE: Baby Steps
CHARACTERS: Arashi members, NewS members, Horikita Maki, Inoue Mao, Oguri Shun, Ikuta Toma, and a whole horde of other Johnny's and female Japanese actresses
PAIRING: Yamashita Tomohisa/Horikita Maki; Matsumoto Jun/Inoue Mao; others
RATINGS: PG
DISCLAIMER: The only thing i own in this story is the plot...
Prologue / Chapter1/ Chapter2/ Chapter3/ Chapter4/ Chapter5/ Chapter6/ Chapter7/ Chapter8/ Chapter8.5/ Chapter9/ Chapter10/ Chapter 11/ Chapter12/ Chapter13/ Chapter14/ Chapter15/ Chapter16
Chapter 17
“What are you doing here?” Maki exclaimed when she went out of her bedroom, searching for Meisa, and saw Yamapi instead of her best friend.
She had decided to freshen herself up a few minutes after Shun left her apartment. It turned out that he had found out, somehow, about the recent encounters she had with Yamapi which is why he suddenly popped in to check on her. She had to repeatedly assure him that she’s all right and that Yamapi had not done anything bad to her, which technically is true, before Shun had even shown a resemblance of his normal calm self.
He had made her promise though, before he left, that she’d tell them if and when Yamapi does something that would hurt her. Meisa, who was with her before Shun arrived, assured him that she’ll make sure they’ll know when that happens.
She almost felt surreal seeing the two opposing characters of the two, Meisa’s strong and fierce character and Shun’s usually calm and silent one, coming into a deal. She felt happy though, knowing that her friends are looking out for her. She did have to calm Meisa down and insist that what had happened that morning was her own choice because the moment she (Meisa) arrived in Tokyo and met up with her, she already wanted to face Yamapi. And everything points to the fact that the particular face-off Meisa had in mind wouldn’t the least bit civil.
This is the reason why she felt real shock seeing Yamapi in her living room without Meisa objecting. In fact, she couldn’t sense Meisa’s presence in her apartment at all.
“Where’s Mei-chan?” she asked.
“She left…” Yamapi answered, straightening up. “Can we talk?”
Maki felt herself swallow hard. She knew that the moment she closed her bedroom door that morning, they’re bound to have a talk to clear things out. She just never expected it to be before the day even ends. She’s not going to back down though. Because even if she doesn’t know what Yamapi had come up with, or what he had decided, or what he’s going to say, she’d rather hear it now than prolong her agony.
She held her head steady as she proceeded to sit on one of the single-seaters a safe distance away from him.
----------
Yamapi knew that Meisa had sized, assessed him, glared at him, and scrutinized him thoroughly before she actually allowed him to enter Maki’s apartment and when she did, it was really and obviously grudgingly. He was almost sure that Meisa wouldn’t leave him and Maki alone to talk but he was taken aback when Meisa, while still outside, closed the door after allowing him entry.
The moment he realized that he’s alone in Maki’s living room, he couldn’t help but get really nervous. It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks, what matters right now is what Maki does. And whatever it is that she’s thinking as she sat down away from him, he had no idea.
Seeing her looking at him, waiting for him to speak, Yamapi felt his tongue stuck in his throat. It was as if he couldn’t say anything and even if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t even know the right things to say. It took him considerable effort to find his voice and finally string words together.
“I never really thought I was going to get married… I thought I’d be like Matchy-san or Higashiyama-san who reached their 40’s and still not married…” he started croakily. When Maki simply continued looking at him without saying anything, he continued “But when I found out that you were pregnant, the only thing that came to my mind then was that I have to marry you…”
“Why?” Maki asked, her face hard as stone.
“Honestly?” Yamapi asked, sighing. “I don’t know… I figured it was my responsibility as the baby’s father… I couldn’t let you handle it alone when I knew that half the responsibility should be mine… It was the normal thing to do…”
Maki smiled humorlessly. “Nothing is normal about us… And nothing has ever been normal between us…” she said.
“I guess you’re right…” Yamapi agreed, knowing that it was true. For a while, he thought he saw a tear forming in Maki’s eye but when he looked closer, it was gone, and Maki was looking all serious again. That sight, however, made him lose track of what he was thinking. He looked down as he gathered his thoughts.
Maki might have interpreted his silence and his actions (and his words) for something else because she stood up and said
“I guess that’s it then… We’ve cleared things up and that’s just about it… Don’t worry, I meant it when I said I wouldn’t take our child away from you…”
Yamapi stood up immediately and stopped her before she could actually move away.
“No, that’s not it…” he said. “I said that was ‘then’…”
“That ‘then’ was barely two months ago…” Maki said, looking at him painfully. “Please don’t start pretending that something has drastically changed from then… I don’t want to end up hating you…”
Yamapi felt his heartbeat speeding up. It was now or never. He had to tell her what he really feels.
“Something has changed…” he said. “But it wasn’t anything drastic… I just realized the thing that I’ve been so stupid to not realize before…”
“And what would that be?”
“That I’ve always been in love with you…” Yamapi said truthfully.
He didn’t know what he was expecting or that he was actually expecting anything but it certainly wasn’t this.
Maki burst out laughing, sarcastically. Tears started escaping from her eyes.
“Wow! You really are good…” she said, the look of pain she felt already out for him to see. “You must have really had so much practice saying those words that it almost seemed that you were saying the truth!”
Yamapi wanted to reach out and dry those tears but he knew that he couldn’t, he shouldn’t. Not just yet.
“It is the truth!” he cried.
Maki snorted. “When you came here this morning, you weren’t even aware of what you felt… Yet here you are, telling me that for the past 10 hours, you had realized magically that you’re in love with me!”
“It was not magical…” Yamapi said, reaching out to grab Maki’s arm, making her look into his eyes. “I had always known that you were different, that you were special… It’s just that it took my friends to figuratively hit my head before I realized that it didn’t end there… That you are more than just special to me…”
“I’m bound to be… I’m the mother of your future child, remember?” Maki challenged, defiance written all over her eyes mixed in the pain that was already there. “Look, we’re no longer kids so it’s time we stop playing games…”
“I’m not playing… I’m not fooling around…” Yamapi said, his grip on Maki’s arm getting tighter as he pulled her towards him. “And I’m not going to stop until you believe that I’m telling the truth… I really do love you…”
He heard Maki gasp as the distance between them got closer and he saw in her eyes the glimpse of a little hope after he said those words.
“What makes you think I’m going to believe that?” she continued to counter even though it sounded like her defenses had been lowered just a tiny bit.
“Because you’re the only woman who made me look forward to being married…” Yamapi said, releasing her arm but still standing closely opposite her. “I told you earlier, I never thought of getting married, never planned for it, never hoped for it… But you, all of a sudden, made me really want to be one…”
“And no, it’s not because you got pregnant…” Yamapi added immediately before Maki could even contest. “Even before I found out about our child, I’ve been haunted by dreams of that night we made love. I questioned why, both the dreams and my intention that night, but I never really got the answer.”
“But I remembered feeling something when you arrived that night with Toma... I really wanted to hit Toma for some reason and that was a first… I remembered feeling angry when you sat between Shun and Jun and you looked really comfortable there… I remembered wanting to drag Kame away from his seat just because you were looking at him with a sweet smile on your face and you weren’t looking at me the same way…” he said, saying in words the realizations he had during his long walk after he left Matsujun.
“I like to think that I don’t get jealous easily. That I am rational. But when it’s about you it’s always different. I felt weird when I found out that you were going to work with Toma in HanaKimi because I wanted my turn with you to be the best and longest work experience you’d have with any Johnny ever… All of a sudden, when it’s about you, I’m possessive… I’ve always wanted you for myself and I didn’t even realize it…”
“I think what I’m trying to say is that I’ve always had these strong feelings when it’s about you… I just never thought too much of it… But I realize now that all those feelings and emotions were simply because I’ve always been in love with you…” he said. “I want to marry you, not because you are carrying my child but because I want to wake up each morning knowing that I’m waking up with you… I want to move forward each day with you, for you and because of you… I feel content just because I see you smiling and happy… I realize now that I really want to be with you, that the baby is just a wonderful bonus… I want to marry you because I really, truly, sincerely love you…”
After his quite long speech, he saw that Maki, who had been silent for the most part, was crying again. But it didn’t seem to be because of pain, she was sniffing while trying hard not to smile.
When he tried to extend his arm to reach for her face and she didn’t stop him, he took one step closer.
“Hey… Don’t cry…” he said, wiping away her tears. Maki broke into a smile as Yamapi caressed her cheeks. But still she did not say anything.
“You have to say something though…” he added jokingly even though his heart had just jumped to his throat. He knew what everyone else believed, he knew what he wanted to believe, but Maki saying it would be the most important of all.
Maki chuckled, her hand reaching up to hold the hand that was caressing her cheeks.
“I’ve always done what I was supposed to do, except for one thing… I was never supposed to fall in love with you…” she said, her eyes welling up again.
Yamapi felt his heart swell up; it felt like it would almost burst. He pulled Maki in for a hug, feeling warmth spread all over his body when Maki hugged him back. They stayed that way for a while, reveling on how great it is to literally and figuratively be in each other’s arms. He only broke the contact long enough for him to lean over and kiss her with all the passion he had.
----------
“I guess everything turned out okay…” Shun said, glancing over at Meisa as they watched Maki’s door from where the two of them flanked the elevator door.
He had followed Yamapi into Maki’s building minutes after Yamapi had declared he’s going to tell her he love her. He was also the one who had informed Meisa about Yamapi’s arrival and intent. The two of them had been standing on either side of the elevator door since Meisa allowed Yamapi to enter, both of them agreeing to wait and see, for about 30 minutes, what happens.
“It better be…” Meisa muttered as she turned around to enter the elevator, having pressed the down button already. “He wasted enough time already…”
“Well, they say it’s better late than never…” he smiled as he followed her in. “Where’re you heading to anyway?”
“Home, I guess…” Meisa answered, the elevator already going down. “I’d rather not get back in that room tonight…”
Shun chuckled, knowing what she meant. He felt the exact same thing when Matsujun and Mao got together the first time. He didn’t want to intrude on something that special.
“You could come with me if you like…” he invited. “Yuu’s got shooting until early morning tomorrow so I’m heading to Jun’s place. I heard Jin has already arrived, they’d be in Jun’s place by now… I’m sure they’d be happy to see you there…”
“And see Akanishi?” Meisa asked turning to him before adding with a really sweet smile “When hell freezes over.”
Shun chuckled, leaning on the wall. “What has that guy done for you to hate him anyway?”
Meisa turned to glance at him briefly.
She and Jin had actually been more of acquaintances rather than friends, but it wasn’t because of work or their connections. They actually share the same hobby, partying. She’d seen him around the places she usually frequents. They had acknowledged each other on occasion, joined groups on some, but he had crossed the line that one time he had her against the wall and was kissing her passionately.
She figured he realized the same time she did what they were doing and stopped before it would get any worse. She would have just let it slide, not to get angry since she knew she accepted and responded to his kisses as well. But in true Akanishi Jin fashion, it did get worse when he opened his mouth and said “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were some other girl…”
And right there and then, those words elevated him to her most disliked persons list because even if she didn’t have feelings for him, she still had her pride and how dare him tell her that. Everything he had done, from then on, had only cemented him on the top of that list.
“For now?” she asked Shun as the elevator door opened. “Coming back…”
Shun simply laughed as they both stepped out of the elevator.
----------
“You could stop chuckling you know…” Yamapi pouted as he got on the bed next to a chuckling Maki.
After agreeing that he stay the night over, both of them had decided to freshen up. Maki had produced for him her loosest set of clothes since he didn’t have spare clothes on his car which, unfortunately for him, included an extra large shirt with an extra large picture of Hello Kitty in front.
“You look funny wearing Hello Kitty…” Maki giggled under the blankets. “And here I thought you Johnny’s look good on everything…”
“Is that so?” Yamapi asked playfully, turning to pin her under him to the bed. “You still love me though, right?”
Maki giggled, meeting his eyes. “I have to, I’m pregnant with your child, remember?”
Yamapi chuckled, closing the distance between them until their faces were only millimeters apart. He didn’t cross that distance though as he looked into her eyes and absorbed everything that’s happening.
“I love you…” he said.
He felt rather than saw Maki smile. “I love you too…” she whispered back.
He felt some sort of electricity surge through his body hearing her say that. Closing the remaining distance between them, he kissed her long and deep, getting drunk with the taste of her lips, the feeling of his tongue playing with hers while his hand groped under her shirt, savoring the feel of her skin. He felt her hands reach to his neck and played with his hair and back, loving the feel of it. He allowed them that for a while before he broke off the kiss.
“It’s getting really late now…” he murmured against her lips. “I think you better get some sleep…”
He felt her smile and nod but he didn’t get off her right away. He savored the feel of her under him for a while before he turned on his back to allow her to straighten up.
“Goodnight Papa Pi…” she murmured to his ears as she snuggled to him.
Yamapi almost chuckled, hearing that name again but this time feeling comfortable with it.
“Good night Mama Maki…” he murmured back.
He heard Maki chuckle, but after a while, she didn’t say or do anything else but position her head better. When he looked down, he saw that she was already asleep.
He felt himself smiling. In any other circumstance, he wouldn’t have been able to stop earlier, but he knew it wasn’t right for her, not when she’s already over four months into her pregnancy. But it was not something he regretted. He felt great already, just having the opportunity to hold her the way he is holding her now. He couldn’t help but smile as she snuggled closer to him.
He loves her, her warmth, her presence, her being. Allowing his hand to touch her already increasing baby bump, he closed his eyes, sending a silent thank you to his unborn child. Because if he or she didn’t happen, he wouldn’t have realized how much he treasured his or her mother. He also sent a silent promise, that he’d take care of him or her and everyone of his future children and love them as much as he loves their mother.
----------
It was probably the most star-studded concert the whole of Johnny’s Jimusho had for the year Johnny talent’s-wise, next to the annual New Year Countdown Concert. It was certainly the most star-studded concert NewS had ever had. But none of the attending fans was aware of it because the only ones who were visible to them were just four of the Johnny idol attendees.
Toma, Kame, Jin (who had caused quite a cascading murmur upon his appearance), and Tackey were the ones in the VIP area of the Fukuoka Dome. But NewS had already been advised before the start of the concert that Johnny had arrived with both members of KinKi Kids and Higashiyama and three of the highest officials from Maki’s company, although Johnny was the only one they’ve seen. Apparently, the others had gone straight to the technical room upstairs to watch everything from a bird’s viewpoint. The six of NewS were also aware that Matsujun, along with Shun, is at the backstage.
But the presence of all those sempais wasn’t really the reason why NewS were so nervous before the concert started, although it certainly played a part. The bigger reason was because it was the concert where Yamapi would announce his upcoming marriage with Maki.
Right after the very last lines of Happy Birthday, the 6 members of NewS had gathered at the moving stage at the very center of Fukuoka Dome where they stood on one line (Koyama-Masuda-Ryo-Yamapi-Tegoshi-Shige) held each others hand and raised them before making a final bow before the last notes of the song was vented out. It was the signal that the MC was about to start, the point where every other Johnny present had decided to be on-guard.
Because other than telling the fans of his upcoming marriage, Yamapi had also decided that, if things turn out all right, he would also present Maki to the attending fans. Rumors about him and Maki’s relationship had already hit the mainstream media by then, although it is still to be known if any of their fans took the rumors seriously.
This was the real reason why Shun and Matsujun had opted to stay with the already-showing 5 and a half month pregnant Maki at the NewS greenroom for most of the first part of the concert (prior to the MC). The three of them had just moved near the concert stage when they sensed that the first half was almost over.
The Hanadan duo had an agreement with the four on the VIP seats and Ryo with regards to Yamapi’s plan to call Maki on-stage. Toma, Kame, Jin and Tackey will assess the fans’ reactions from where they are seated and Ryo will be the overall look-out from his vantage point on stage. Only if and only when all five had nodded their agreement will Matsujun and Shun allow Maki to go on-stage.
It was the only compromise they were able to come up with because despite the fact that Maki had agreed to Yamapi’s plans, all the girls, particularly Meisa, all of whom had not been able to clear their own schedules for the night to accompany Maki, thought that it would be dangerous for Maki, especially in her condition, a sentiment to which most of the guys secretly agreed to.
But when it was finally time for Yamapi’s announcement (they went from Koyama to Ryo after their usual greetings to the fans first before Yamapi actually made his announcement), things turned out a tad bit better than expected.
“As the other members had said, I do have an announcement to make tonight…” Yamapi started when it was finally his turn to speak, Ryo had actually expressed their gratitude as a group to the fans already, and Koyama had earlier told them that they’re going to have a big announcement. “In the past month or so, there had been numerous rumors that had been surrounding me, and later tonight, after this concert, I am going to meet with some of the members of the media to answer to those rumors…”
“But before that, we, that is me, these 5 wonderful members of NewS, and everyone else involved in all of this, had agreed that it is better if we tell you fans about if first...” he said before stopping and swallowing hard. “But before that I would just like to repeat what Ryo said that you guys have always been the best fans anyone could ever have, and I am thankful that I was able to become part of this group that you’ve loved and supported… As I take another big step into my life, I would also like to ask for your support…”
After those words, it was highly visible from where Matsujun and Shun were standing with Maki that some of the fans had started crying, as if aware of what looms ahead. Maki, who was holding onto each of their arms, drew them closer to one another, as if borrowing strength from the two older men. Tegoshi, Shige, and Masuda had stood a few steps behind Yamapi while Koyama and Ryo were a few steps away from Yamapi’s side.
“I, Yamashita Tomohisa, am in a relationship with the actress, Horikita Maki…” Yamapi started, eliciting more tears and some shrieks from the fans but also heard were scattered applause and cheers, the loudest coming from the VIP section, and a loud “Congratulations!” that sounded suspiciously like Tackey. “And we have decided, I truly and sincerely hope with your blessings, to get married…”
More tears, more shrieks and some shocked faces here and there. But there were also those who had started smiling, clapping, cheering and shouts of scattered “Congratulations!” could be heard. Even most of those fans who had tears in their eyes had put their hands together to clap, overwhelming the six people onstage.
Raising his hand that was holding the mic, Yamapi realized that he was actually trembling as tears started to form in his eyes too. Looking around at his group mates, he saw that they were all looking happy and overwhelmed with the fan’s reaction, Tegoshi and Masuda, their crybabies, actually were crying already. The shouts of “Congratulations!” had gotten louder and the sounds of the applause sounded clearer and steadier.
With a nod of encouragement from Ryo, Yamapi continued to address the fans again but all he was able to say was “Thank you! Thank you very much…”
With a slight chuckle, he felt Ryo’s hand thumping his back encouragingly as he nodded discreetly to where Matsujun, Shun and Maki, who was by then crying too not that the others would see, were standing.
Yamapi nodded.
“I’m really overwhelmed…” starting chuckle a bit but ended up sniffing. “I think none of us had ever expected this… Really, you guys are the best!”
More cheers, more clapping, more shouts and a bit of scattered of laughter were heard.
“Anoh… I actually have another announcement to make…” Yamapi continued which quieted the crowd considerably.
He had noticed Ryo going offstage towards where the three was watching. One of the cameramen saw him too and followed him there, there were several gasps and cheers from the audience when Ryo’s feed was placed on the big screen and it showed Maki with Matsujun and Shun. The feed showed Matsujun and Shun nodding, as they allowed Ryo to take Maki’s hand. The fans’ attention was directed to the big screen that they didn’t notice Yamapi going down the stage too to meet Ryo and Maki there. There were several gasps and “kya’s!” when he was suddenly seen on the feed, especially when he held Maki’s hand and hugged her while the other four left on stage started making noise and cheering too.
Back on stage and still holding Maki’s hand while tears were still falling from her eyes, he addressed the audience again.
“We would like to announce that early next year, we are expecting our first child…”
More tears, more cheers, more laughter and more “Congratulations!” were heard from the crowd but the moment Yamapi turned to Maki and saw her smile amidst those tears, Yamapi understood what Matsujun felt when he said that Mao’s smile would always make his heart jump even after hearing a thousand fans cheering for him.
In front of all the lights, the fans, his members, and friends, Yamapi pulled Maki for hug, hearing nothing else but the beating of his own heart and Maki whispering in his ears “Thank you…”
~~~~~
and yeah, apparently, there'd be an epilogue since there's a part i wanted to put but was still unable to fit in this chapter... the epilogue would be up later this day or tomorrow morning, depending on when i'd be able to polish it... :)
so yeah... comments and critics are greatly appreciated! :)
