an unplanned fic...

[angelshill]

TITLE: (Gimmick) Game
CHARACTERS: Ohno Satoshi, Sakurai Sho, Aiba Masaki, Ninomiya Kazunari, Matsumoto Jun, Nagasawa Masami, Sasaki Nozomi
GENRE: RL
RATINGS: PG
DISCLAIMER: The only thing i own in this story is the plot...
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Slightly inspired by a few lines from Nino's Gimmick Game...
WARNING: ANGST... lots of ANGST... and if you want Nino with Masami, you shouldn't be reading this... you have been forewarned!
SUMMARY: He woke up one morning only to admit to himself that things have changed.

Everything has changed.

That was the very first thing that entered his mind the moment he opened his eyes and felt the warmth next to him on the bed. The warmth was familiar, the size, the scent. He can easily identify it without even opening his eyes. He knew it, he knew her. He’s been with her for years now that it’s almost crazy how much and how well he knew her.

And one of those things he knows is the fact that things have changed. Things are definitely different now.

He felt her stir next to him before she looked up and flashed him a smile.

It was sweet, well, it was supposed to be sweet but he can’t taste the sweetness. It was almost perfunctory, just like the smile he flashed back to her. Even the kiss they shared before she got to her feet felt almost obligatory.

He closed his eyes again the moment he heard the water rushing from the faucet, she obviously had just started to shower. He knew even without looking that the door to the bath was slightly ajar. In the past, he would have easily taken that as an invitation to join her, and he would. But now, it felt more like it’s a ritual.

With his eyes still closed, he tried his best to recall when exactly had he felt those changes starting because for sure, things didn’t start that way right away. When they just started, it was amazing, even counting the fact that almost everyone was against their relationship. And that was despite the fact that they’ve never acknowledged their relationship to the public at all! His four closest friends didn’t exactly object but they were never that enthusiastic about it either. He had a nagging feeling that they were just letting it go because he was happy.

Or at least he thought he was happy.

It was exciting, he’d admit, the idea of him and her. Forbidden love and all that. He was one of those guys who was supposed to not be on the market and she was the girl who was supposed to be interested in someone else, another prohibited someone else. But even as he lay there with his eyes closed, he started to question if it ever really was love. He was attracted, that was for sure but somehow, he felt like questioning the term love.

That was the very first time he had admitted to himself that the two of them might have actually been one big mistake.
-----

To be honest, she wasn’t really the person he craved most to see in his lowest and/or highest times.

One of his four closest friends, their youngest so to speak although he was just older than him by mere 2 months, had said in passing that it’s always his girlfriend he craves most to see whenever he feels so down and it is that same woman’s face and reaction that first surfaces to him whenever he tastes triumph or success.

He doesn’t feel that way with his girl, and she obviously doesn’t see him that way either.

If she happens to be there, either during good or bad moments, then, well and good but if she isn’t, it really doesn’t make that much difference to him. More often than not, he would find the company of his cards or the eldest in their group of friends weigh heavier as compared to hers even during those times when he felt like he really needed someone or something to turn to. He remembered her celebrating without him and away from him during her first success after the two of them got together. But he can’t remember feeling bad about him not being there or her not celebrating it with him. As far as he can recall, he simply shrugged and promptly forgot about it a few seconds later.

He can’t ever recall feeling “warmth in my heart” as his bubbliest friend would say whenever he sees her smile. That particular friend had said that when he looks at the woman he had secretly fallen in love with for quite a long time now, he would always feel warmth spreading about him the moment he sees her smile. He never felt that. Curiously, he never actually did.

But he had felt something of course. Passion. Lots and lots of it. He had always felt this desire for her he never really could contain. He could still feel it up to this point to be honest but it was no longer as all-consuming as it was before. But then, during one of his nights out with his friends, the most intelligent of them blurted that passion is different from lust. And somehow, that simple statement took him aback.
-----

“Things are going to be all right,” their bubbliest had said when he told them they’ve come to the mutual decision of ending it.

It was a mutual decision all right.

He had gotten home one night and saw her preparing dinner. It wasn’t really that unusual because she would consent to cook if he asks her cutely enough. But he knew within his heart that her cooking wasn’t for anything special, that is, even before he noticed the bag she had tried to hide behind the sofa.

After dinner, she told him that they would have to go on their separate ways. No big fuss, no big scene. And oddly enough, he was okay with it. He didn’t want to stop her. He didn’t try.

He did ask her why though. She simply smiled before she said in reply “This was long overdue.”

And at the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but agree.

But the days that followed made him undoubtedly distraught. But it wasn’t because she had left or that they had ended. He was supposedly the first of their little group of five to have been in a serious relationship. He was supposed to be the first of them to have experienced real love. But for some reason, when he looks at the four guys around him, two of which so deeply in love and the other two simply getting there, he feels as though he must have missed something. Why can’t he remember ever being in the state he’s seeing them now?

It is possible that he simply never realized that he was in that state. But it could also be that he was never in that state at all.

After a few weeks, he slowly felt at ease. So what if things actually turned out differently? It really doesn’t matter at all. He’s happy for his friends and he wouldn’t really call his time with her wasted.

They had fun after all. It’s just that their fun wasn’t really meant to last.

And just when he thought he had let go of the concept of love for a while, he received an invitation from a friend for dinner, an invitation he had accepted so he went.

And that was when he saw her, this woman, and she’s beautiful all right. But it wasn’t actually her beauty that captured him. No, not that.

It’s the fact that when she smiled, he felt warmth engulfing him. It was as though he had been sitting at the beach for the whole night with nothing but a meager blanket to protect him from the cold and then the sun slowly rises rendering him warmth and comfort. But it isn’t simply just the warmth he had welcomed but the sight before him.

It’s beautiful, mesmerizing, and promising.
-----THE END-----

i actually had no plan of writing something like this... actually, for a few days, i hadn't had the will and the urge to write anything... but i was listening to JE songs one afternoon and i came across Nino's Gimmick Game... certain lines intrigued me and somehow, one way or the other, it resulted to this...

btw, just so you know, this is the first time i wrote something like this... (no dialogue whatsoever)

how was it???
liked it or not???
comments/critics are really loved!